Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Our most recent shenanigans

So it has been a while since I last posted... apologies, dear readers. I find blogging regularly difficult while taking care of a rambunctious, attention-seeking almost-one-year-old girl. That's right, I said it. Almost one year old. How did that even happen? In a little over a month, Penelope Olivia Boivie will be one. I didn't give her permission to grow up; I would rather her stay a baby forever and ever--as long as she started sleeping through the night.. but don't get me started on that trial of mine.

Penny has been taking 6-7 steps at a time and then falling over. She is so close to walking: she just needs to learn how to balance a little better. Crawling has improved; sometimes she even crawls normally (she usually does a weird crawl). She also converses with us. We ask her questions or just talk to her and she answers with "bub" or "fop" or anything else that she thinks pertains to the conversation. Even when I'm nursing her, she will stop, look at me, just say her one syllable two cents, and go back to eating. Obviously what she has to say is very important. Her "talking" is extremely cute-- especially since she looks so serious when she does it.  I've been trying to get her to say actual words. She will say "mom" or "mamamama" when she wants me, and she occasionally says "dad" when Scott is around, but that is about it. When we play with the ball, I slowly say, "ball" but she just looks at me and smiles. Everything is funny to her right now; and unfortunately that also means "no" is funny too. Whenever I say no, she smiles or laughs and does whatever she is doing wrong again. This is very frustrating at times. She used to listen, but now she definitely doesn't. Oh well... she will again someday... I think. I love her so much! Here is a pic of Penny right after we got her ears pierced. What a ham.

Anyway, the past three months we have been living in the Utah valley. I really like it here, which is surprising because I didn't want to live in Utah at all before I got married. Being close to so many things is nice, but I miss my small town of Rexburg. I lived in Rexburg for almost six years, so I've grown to love it. Plus, it harbors many of my fondest memories. I met some of my best friends there, I met Scott there, and we had Penny there. I'm a very sentimental person so moving away was hard. At least we are close to it. I also have a few friends who live in the area that I'm super stoked to live by, so we aren't alone. Scott has also made a couple friends at work.

Scott is working at Fidelity Investments in American Fork. He absolutely loves it and I'm so glad that he finally has a job he enjoys. He passed his series 7 and 63 tests which were extremely difficult, and now he is just training and helping customers on the phones. I'm so grateful for his sacrifice and the amount of hard work he put in to being successful with his series 7 and 63. He works so hard to take care of our little family. We got incredibly blessed that Scott was able to find a career right after graduating college! He loves what he does and he has several career options from where he is now, so that is nice.
We are happily enjoying real adult life out of college, even though it is still weird to think about. I don't feel like a grown up, but I'm a stay at home mom of an 11 month old and my husband has a 8-5 job. We pay bills and rent, but I still don't feel grown up. I probably won't ever feel that way, but I guess that's just how it is. Now here are some cute pictures of Penny to end on.

 She LOVES pulling down all the DVDs. I probably put them back up at least 3 times a day.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

My dad.

Hang in there, this one is a long one.

 I can't believe it is already 2014. Already March, for that matter. Our little girl will be 6 months old tomorrow. She is already sitting up, refusing to stay on her tummy (always rolls off) and loving talking (babababababababa). She is such a sweet little spirit with a huge personality and has a little bit of an attitude already. I had no clue that babies could have attitudes at this age, but Penny is proof that they sure can. She is so fun and bubbly and keeps Scott and I entertained constantly. We love her so much and we are so grateful for her happiness and cuteness. :)

This year was really rough from the beginning, as many of you know. My dad, Randy Hohmann, passed away on January 21st. It was a real shock to everyone because we didn't know there was anything wrong with his health (we may have suspected it, but he always denied it). I got the phone call from the hospital in Rockford that he was in critical condition in the ICU, fighting cardiac arrest. The doctor kept telling me he was very sick but it didn't register that this was probably the end. I kept thinking he would pull through. After frantic calls to my twin sister Bre, my mom, and various family members, my brother Casey told me that what the doctor said didn't sound good. That is when it finally hit me that I would probably lose my dad. Casey was on his way to Rockford since he was closest when I got the phone call from Bre that my dad had passed. 

I don't think I've ever felt that much emotional pain in my entire life. I lost my grandmother when I was 16 which was extremely devastating (and still is), but somehow this was even more excruciating. No more phone calls, no more visits, no more hearing his voice. There are many things that go through your mind when someone you love so much dies--especially a parent-- and one of those things is guilt. I felt guilty for so many things... not calling him or visiting him more often and not telling him I loved him enough. I told him I loved him every time I would talk to him on the phone, but somehow that doesn't seem like enough when I can't do it anymore. It hurts so much that I can't ever hear him say "I love you, pudy" or "Give that little Penny kisses for me" in this life. I won't ever go fishing with him or listen to music from the 50s and 60s with him again. I can't ever spend countless evenings watching movies with him, laughing and telling him to go to sleep when he starts to snore half way through. No more over-an-hour talks on the phone, talking about anything and everything. Through his big, warm hugs I could feel how much he loved me, and I won't be able to feel that again on this earth. Oh how I miss those chuckles, long talks on the phone, and hugs. I miss them so much.

There are a lot of things that I felt in the short hours after my dad died, and those were just a few. Penny and I drove from Idaho to Denver where I met up with my sister, Bre. It was so nice being with my twin, one of my best friends, who was going through the same thing. Somehow, through all the pain, we were able to laugh and enjoy our time  together, driving up to Illinois to prepare the funeral and sort through other things. I was so grateful for my other family members who were there for us and who also loved my dad just as much as we did. The funeral was beautiful-- my sister Heather played "Let it Be" by the Beatles on her viola, which my dad would have loved. There were so many people from work that came, telling me and Bre how much they liked my dad and that all he talked about was us. I also loved seeing all my Hohmanns... we don't get to see them very often and I am so grateful that they are so loving and amazing. The funeral was wonderful, but also very hard at the same time. Saying goodbye was difficult. 

I took my dad for granted. Whenever I talked to him, he always asked if there was anything I needed help with, so willing to do anything for me. He always said he had six kids, not just two; he loved all of his six kids so much, as he would frequently tell me. He also loved my childhood friends and talked about them and how they were all "sweet ladies." I could talk to my dad about anything for hours, and I wish I wouldn't have taken that for granted. I should have told him how much I appreciated him. I wish I could have told him how much I loved and love him. There are so many things I wish I could say to him, but I can't right now.

I regret so many things, but I am also grateful for so many things. I am grateful for the example that my dad set for me. I am so thankful that he loved me so much and was such a great man. I am so happy that my dad was able to see me get married. I am glad I sent my dad so many pictures and videos of Penny. I am glad I even Skyped with him minutes after Penny was born. I am so thankful that Scott, Penny, and I were able to go visit him this past Christmas. I am so thankful that I married someone that my dad approved of, and my dad was grateful for that too. He always said he was glad that I married Scott because he knew Scott would take care of me. He even told Scott how much he liked him and how much he appreciated him. I am so glad that he was able to meet Penny. I know Penny won't remember meeting her grandpa, but we have pictures of Grandpa Randy holding Penny during Christmas. Oh how Grandpa loved Penny. 

I am thankful that as a member of the LDS church, I know that I will be able to see him again, but that doesn't numb the pain. It does make it more tolerable, but I still feel an emptiness in my heart for my dad. I don't think anything will fill that void, but I know that I will be able to be with my dad again. Nothing in the world would have prepared me for this, but at least I know that my family now has a guardian angel. He was always so worried about my safety, and I am sure he still is. I hope he can see how Penny is growing up, and I hope he is chilling with my future children, taking care of them for me until they come to earth. I love you so, so much, Dad. I wish I could say it to you and hear you say it back, but I know you love me too.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Time flies!

It has been quite some time since I have written. I find myself having to prioritize my activities when caring for a baby. Usually sleep and food come before cleaning, showering, and blogging... and basically everything else when Penny is napping. Time flies so quickly when there is a baby in the picture. I can't believe that she is already 4 months old!

So a lot has happened since last time I wrote. Thanksgiving came and went-- we spent it with Scott's family. Spending time with them was lovely; I really lucked out with my in-laws. During their visit, Penny got blessed along with her 19-day-younger cousin, Erik. Here is a picture of that:

My mom and Oren were able to make it to the blessing, and I am so grateful for that. She is the one  that made Penny's beautiful little dress! Also during Thanksgiving, Scott's aunt, Krista, also took some family pictures of us:

As you can see, Penny was sick of taking pictures and Erik was concerned for her well-being. Penny is very much a mommy-daddy girl and is happiest in her bubble. Too much commotion and she gets overwhelmed and unhappy. When it is just Scott, me and her at home, she is always happy, laughing, and smiling. She also refuses to take a bottle which can be very frustrating-- I wish I could leave her for more than 3 hours at a time so I could go on a date with my husband occasionally! I know this won't last forever, and once she starts eating solids she will be able to go longer between meals. Plus, I like that she needs me so much. :)

We were able to go visit my family for Christmas and I am so glad we did. I hadn't seen my family since I got married (minus my mom of course). It was Penny's first flight and she did well considering. She slept most of the time, and only cried a little bit. The security people got to see her right after she woke up, so she was squeaking and smiling at them the whole time. She is the absolute happiest when she just wakes up from a nice long sleep. Everyone we passed just smiled at Penny and told us how cute she is. I wanted to say, "Oh I know." But I just thanked them instead. :) 

Here is Penny, fast asleep on the plane. It was nice to cuddle her for those three hours.

I'm glad my family was able to meet Penny. They are so wonderful for coming to the airport and picking us up, feeding us, and letting us stay with them. My dad especially! Love you all!

It is nice to be home, sleeping in our own bed though. Penny is starting to grab things (letting them go still evades her) and she loves drooling on anything and everything. She rolled over 3 times when we visited Freeport, but she hasn't since then-- she gets lazy. :) I am so grateful for her sweet little spirit and I am grateful I get to take care of her, even though it gets hard to feel that way when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Still, those moments I know I will miss once she is grown up. This leads me to the next thing that has been on my mind: motherhood.

Honestly, I feel like I was born to be a mother. It just feels natural and right-- I'm not saying I am perfect at it by any means-- trust me, I have a lot to learn. But I can see how Heavenly Father's plan is centered on the family. It brings me true happiness when I am with my husband and daughter. When I see Scott playing with Penny, telling her how much he loves her, and seeing her light up when he talks to her, my heart melts with overwhelming joy. She gets so excited when he comes home; she squeaks and squeals with delight, and I am so glad that she loves her daddy. And I am so glad that he loves her, isn't scared to change diapers, and takes a huge part in caring for her. Sometimes it is only daddy that can get her to sleep when she is really worked up, and I am okay with that. I am so grateful I married a man who loves me and his daughter above all else (even though the 49ers are close-- haha). He always wanted a family, and I am happy that I could help him reach his biggest goal. Sometimes I get pretty irritated when I don't get enough sleep, which is all the time, so I am thankful he is so patient with me. There is no one I would rather be raising children and spending my life journey (and eternity) with. Okay, I think that is all I have to say about that. I love my little family.

A snippet from Scott:
And here is Penny at her best, cheering on the 49ers. In lieu of it being the New Year and playoff time, we would like to ask everyone for their sincere thoughts and prayers in helping Kaepernick guide us (49ers) to a victory in Super Bowl XLVIII and our 6th Super Bowl victory.